Lawyer Arrested With A Whole Lot Of Cocaine Hidden In A Very Uncomfortable Place
This lawyer’s a**hole behavior got him in real trouble. Scratch that. This lawyer’s a**hole’s behavior got him in real trouble. Because down in Costa Rica, a lawyer got caught red-handed (er… red… er… let’s just move on) smuggling a whole lot of cocaine to his imprisoned client. And, obviously, he tried to sneak his score past the goalie with an impromptu Pulp Fiction homage. Costa Rican lawyers understand customer service! To put this in perspective, in the U.S. we have lawyers smuggling Xanax tablets in their pockets. Point Costa Rica.Guards busted the attorney, identified only by the last name Ruiz, at San Sebastian prison during a morning client visit. According to the media reports, this involved some crackerjack detective work (emphasis added):
The cocaine was reportedly tightly pressed into a pack contained by a double latex lining. The corrections officers who arrested Mr. Ruiz were tipped off by his background, the ongoing investigation into the smuggled mobile phones, and the strange way he moved while walking towards the attorney/client meeting room. The officers donned rubber gloves and prepared to do a cavity search; however, Mr. Ruiz had already excreted the package when they stormed into the room.You don’t say! We’ve certainly profiled worse things smuggled in more sensitive places, but a block of pressed cocaine up the cornhole would assuredly invite some bowleggedness. For the record, Ruiz was arrested for smuggling “142 grams of cocaine hydrochloride in powder form.” Since it’s the God-given right of Americans to refuse to understand the metric system, 142 grams is around 5 ounces, making the uncomfortable hunk of coke about the weight of a billiard ball, giving new meaning to the phrase “8-ball, corner pocket.” This amount of cocaine could provide a “few hundred” hits at a per-hit price of around $10, or about 5332 Costa Rican Colóns.
Yes, their currency is the colon.
As the quoted paragraph notes, it wasn’t just a saddle-sore gait that piqued the guards’ interest, because Ruiz was already suspected of smuggling in mobile phones into the prison. This revelation certainly gave a Costa Rica Star reporter a good chuckle when writing “but the mode of transportation of these two electronic devices was not disclosed.”
For his sake, I hope his client hadn’t wished for an iPhone 6 Plus.
Costa Rica Lawyer Caught Smuggling Cocaine in Anal Cavity [The Costa Rica Star]
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