Attorney Eloquently Describes All The Ways He Will Make You His Bitch

11 Aug 2014 at 11:02 AM New Jersey, Quote of the Day, Reality TV, Stupid Lawyer Tricks, Television Attorney Eloquently Describes All The Ways He Will Make You His Bitch By Staci Zaretsky Jim Marchese I don’t fight. I think it’s stupid. I’m trained as an attorney. If I want to hurt you, I’m going to sue you. I’m going to leverage your house. I’m gonna give you three years of hell in a courtroom. I’m going to bleed dry you financially, and I’m going to humiliate you as I depose you for eight hours and make you my bitch. – Jim Marchese, husband to Amber Marchese (one of the newest cast members of the Real Housewives of New Jersey), explaining why he chose to avoid a fight with Joe Gorga, another Real Housewives husband, on the latest episode. (Marchese is a graduate of Seton Hall Law and was a whistleblower in the Cell Therapeutics case, which earned him $1.6 million. Marchese recently claimed to be involved in the bankruptcy fraud prosecution of Joe and Teresa Giudice, but a spokesperson for the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the District of New Jersey said “[n]o one involved with the prosecution has any idea who that man is.”) 4 Comments Print Tags: James Marchese, Jim Marchese, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, New Jersey, Quote of the Day, Real Housewives of New Jersey, Reality TV, RHONJ, Seton Hall Law School, Stupid Lawyer Tricks, Television, Teresa Giudice

18 Apr 2014 at 1:04 PM

Caption Contests, Contests, Pictures, Stupid Lawyer Tricks

Caption Contest: The State Of The Legal Profession In One Sad Graphic

By Staci Zaretsky

In this economy, lawyers are being forced to roll up their sleeves and learn new tricks of the trade. Some have even taken up the practice of Door Law — they’ll take any case that walks through the door. Other lawyers have expanded their horizons to offer services that are wholly unrelated to the law. Desperate times call for truly desperate measures.
Check out this advertisement — if you can even call it that — for a lawyer who really seems willing to do just about anything for a buck…

Here’s the picture for our caption contest. This lawyer’s “practice” doesn’t sound shady at all, not one bit:

Same rules as always: submit possible captions in the comments. Please try to be funny. We’ll choose our favorites — with preference given to those with a legal bent — and then let you vote for the best one.
Please submit your entries by SUNDAY, APRIL 20 at 11:59 P.M. (Eastern time). Thanks!