Happy Law Day! Can We Bring Civility Into Law?
Jeena Cho
It is no secret that civility is at an all time low among lawyers. In fact, it was California’s former state bar president Patrick Kelly who sought the new language because of what he perceived as increasing incivility in the profession.
In an interview, Kelly stated:
“Unfortunately, as a litigator,” he wrote, “I have all too often witnessed attorneys who claim to be zealously representing their clients but who in fact cross the civility line. Such activities include needless and ineffective histrionics during depositions, refusal to grant the other side an extension of time for no good reason, confirming in writing positions that were never taken and even trying to bully the judge in his or her own courtroom. And the list goes on.”As I said before, we need to stop training lawyers to be jerks. Of course, acting like a jerk is somewhat subjective. You may be zealously advocating for your client but your opposing counsel may think you’ve crossed the civility line. Often, there’s no litmus test to determine whether one party has crossed the line and as most litigators know, there is nothing judges hate more than two lawyers whining over a discovery dispute.
Which brings me to awareness. I believe that you can engage in jerk-like behaviors and cross the civility line, but that will only get you so far. As Keith Lee and I discussed on this Resilient Lawyer podcast, a lawyer’s most important asset is her reputation. If you’re known to be difficult to work with, unnecessarily aggressive, can’t check your emotions, or are constantly looking to win every interaction — you probably will not survive and make it to the end of your legal career without being completely miserable.
I recently sat down to interview Karen Johnson-McKewan, who is a partner at Orrick. I was surprised to hear her approach to her law practice (and life). She shared that she approaches each interaction as though she’s going to get the very best out of the person. This to me is the foundation of civility. Showing up as your best self and expecting the same in return. Standing by your oath and your own personal integrity.
So, how do you recognize when you’re crossing the civility line or engaging in jerk-like behavior? One way to know this is by increasing Emotional Intelligence.
Daniel Goldman defines Emotional Intelligence as:
- Self-awareness – the ability to know one’s emotions, strengths, weaknesses, drives, values, and goals, and recognize their impact on others while using gut feelings to guide decisions.
- Self-regulation – involves controlling or redirecting one’s disruptive emotions and impulses and adapting to changing circumstances.
- Social skill – managing relationships to move people in the desired direction
- Empathy – considering other people’s feelings especially when making decision
- Motivation – being driven to achieve for the sake of achievement.
On my recent trip to Chicago, I had the opportunity to sit down with Christina Martini, a partner at DLA Piper, to talk about her mindfulness and meditation on the Chicago Law Bulletin Network. You can watch the videos below.
PS: I am going on a five-week road trip across U.S. to connect with lawyers to talk about finding a better way to practice law, wellness, self-care, EQ, resiliency, and of course, mindfulness. I’d love to connect with you on my trip! Drop me a line: smile@theanxiouslawyer.com
Jeena Cho is co-founder of JC Law Group PC, a bankruptcy law firm in San Francisco, CA. She is also the author of the upcoming American Bar Association book, The Anxious Lawyer: An 8-Week Guide to a Happier, Saner Law Practice Using Meditation (affiliate link), as well as How to Manage Your Law Office with LexisNexis. She offers training programs on using mindfulness and meditation to reduce stress while increasing focus and productivity. She’s the co-host of the Resilient Lawyer podcast. You can reach her at smile@theanxiouslawyer.com or on Twitter at @jeena_cho.
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