Thursday, May 5, 2016

The Bruce Report- Volume 98

The Bruce Report- Volume 98
The Regular Guy Movie Reviews
Papa Hemingway- 2 Little Brucies
Some historical content, but i found the content and acting very average! Go see it if you are fan of Ernie!
Mothers Day- 2. 5 Little Brucies
Can be a little tear jerker! For the ladies 
Keanu- 1.5 Little Brucies
No, it's not about actor Keanu Reeves, it's about a lost cat and how Comedians Key and Peale try to get him away from hoodlums and gang members! Awful! 
My Favorite Cooks- Not Chefs
Mama Lena Bertucci
Rose Mazetti- (My Nona)
Mary Gandolfi- ( My Aunt)
Dori Bertucci- (My sister in law)
Maria Pichetti
Mrs Medici
Donna Piracchi
Virginia Menucci
Lina Lunardi
Hoss Favelli (Ex wife) When she is not angry!
These ladies were awesome!   
Thoughts And Stuff
We have a Fountain of Youth! Have about a Fountain 
of Smarts!
Learn from your parents mistakes! Use Birth control!
Money isn't everything but it sure keeps the kids in touch!
Why do people leave out auto's worth thousands of dollars, but store junk in their garage?
Why is is it called rush hour, when the traffic is the slowest?
When we were utes we called cigarettes, fags! Now it is an insult!
We called bald guys Cue Balls now bald is beautiful!
Why Do Morons Always Find Me
So  i went to the post office in Highwood to buy stamps and mail packages! The bill was $39 and i only had $37 in small bills! So i pulled out a$100 and the genius behind the counter said she could not cash it because she only had $ 100 in small bills in the drawer! Being able to add and subtract, i said give me back $61 and i would leave! She said she couldn't do it! Wondering why, i asked to see the Postmaster and she also said she couldn't do it because there would be no change for the other customers! Now my Italian temper was starting to burn! So i said after i leave go to the bank and get some change! She said she couldn't leave the P.O. and replied that i had seen her out at lunch in Highwood so it's O.K. to feed your fat ass then it was all right to leave the building! So Little Brucie had to drive to the bank and change his C-note and go back for the last time to the Highwood P.O.! I think God said to all the morons on the North Shore, "Go find Little Brucie and aggravate him"! You can't beat fun at the old ball park! i feel better now! 

 It looks like a great weekend for Mothers Day! Remember their is nothing better than a mothers love! See you next week!
Bruce B. 
Bertucci's Italian Steakhouse, 246 Green Bay Road, Highwood, IL 60040
Sent by in collaboration with

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