In all of this tied in stuff, I have to consider that a win and a close call:
On June 22, 2013 at approximately 4 pm, the family and friends of 94 and a half year old Mary G. Sykes (“MGS”), formerly of 6014 N. Avondale Avenue in Chicago, Illinois 60631 determined that she had been placed in a nursing home called Sunset on Odgen Avenue in Naperville by Ms. Carolyn Toerpe (“CT”). Ms. Toerpe is a guardian under “color of authority” who has strenuously isolated Mary Sykes from her family and friends since fall of 2009. None of these persons had seen Mary for several years, despite repeated attempts to do so. (The lack of service is published frequently on this blog with supporting document and the Record on Appeal).
CT did not have any court order to place MGS in this nursing facility. A duly appointed guardian would have first sought a court order before engaging in such a placement. As far as Judge Stuart is aware (case 09 P 4585 in Cook County Probate Court), MGS is supposed to be residing at 523 Grimes in Naperville, Illinois, a home environment. A properly run nursing home would check for duly issued Letters of Office from any person purporting to be guardian, as well as a Court Order for the placement. Since fall of 2009, CT has strenuously isolated Mary from her close friends and family, in particular, the younger daughter Gloria who was a 10 year+ excellent caretaker of Mary. Mary and Gloria had been inseparable during those years and were always together.
After Gloria had determined that Mary was at Sunset she asked to speak to her mother, Mary. Mary was put on the phone and while she had trouble hearing (Mary requires an amplified phone due to hearing loss), she quickly determined it was Gloria and asked how soon could she come to see her? Gloria went out right away to the nursing home.
When Mary first saw Gloria she grabbed her and repeatedly hugged and kissed her and exclaimed openly how elated she was to finally have her Gloria back. Mary said “I knew you would come for me and take me home, when can we go?” Gloria replied, “mom we have to sit down and talk about that” and we moved to the dining area and Gloria gently explained that it can’t happen right now, but she was “working on it.” The pair kissed and hugged a hundred times for about a half hour, and a video was made of the even for Gloria and friends, and esp. an elderly sister Yolanda (who is also about the same age as Mary) to watch later. Yolanda is now quite sick and bedridden and/or housebound.
Nonetheless, after spending a peaceful hour or so visiting with Mary, CT arrived on the scene, screaching and yelling that Gloria Sykes, Mary’s younger daughter had to leave. When Mary first saw Carolyn, she exclaimed “how wonderful, both my girls are here.” Carolyn then shouted to Gloria to “get out, you have to get out of here”. Mary then cried “but when can Gloria come back to see me?”, CT shouted at her “NEVER!”, at which point Mary started to get upset. Carolyn did not comfort Mary, but continued her tirade that Gloria and friends were not supposed to be there and had to leave immediately. CT grabbed Mary with such force by the arm, Mary cried out “ouch, ouch, that hurts, you’re hurting me”, at which time CT forced Mary in front of her, pushing in the back all the way down the hall to a closed room. CT approached Mary furious, and continued in that manner at all times she was seen at the nursing facility, and in particular in the presence of Mary.
During the altercation, at one point, it looked like Carolyn was going to harm someone, and one of the friends Scott Evans held her back until she promised to stop.
This did not keep CT from later abusing Mary by holding her firmly and then pushing her down the hall in the small of her back repeatedly.
The police were called, and both Gloria and her friends confirmed there were no orders in place to prevent anyone from visiting. Also, it was mentioned that the probate court was without jurisdiction, that the matter was up on appeal and Mary was never served with a summons and complaint, but none of the police officers seemed to care.
On the way out, down at Gloria’s car, an Officer Krakow came up to me and asked if I took pictures or video. I told him yes. He said I would have to delete it. I told him I did not want to, it was precious and not replaceable. It was in fact, my personal property. Mary had authorized it. I asked her first. I always ask permission.
He replied that the nursing home had “rules” and one “rule was no pictures or video taping” so I had to delete it. I told him that was destruction of my personal property and it was illegal.
He said it was not. (See ACLU webpage on police and photography--
He then threatened to “take me in” if I “did not cooperate” so I deleted this precious video.
He also asked Scott Evans to delete his video.
Gloria was not asked.
Of course, the visit was capped off with the nice Officer telling us all that we were banned from the property and if we came back we would be immediately arrested for trespassing.
I reminded him that was not the law, if Mary wanted to see us, she could see any of us. He replied, “what is with you guys and the law?” I told him I thought police officers took an oath to uphold the laws, and the US and Illinois constitutions.
I do believe that these officers need to retake their oaths of office and should be reminded that their job really is to enforce the laws and the US and Illinois constitution -- not create situations which clearly violate long established constitutional rights, but I digress.
They should further be trained in elder abuse and exploitation and to recognize all the symptoms (anger in presence of a disabled, pushing and shoving, screaming that a family member will “never” be allowed to visit, reluctance to comfort and assure the disable everything is all right, etc.) Such a person should be immediately separated from the disabled person and further investigated for abuse.
Instead, the employees at Sunset stood by and said and did nothing other than to evict the good and concerned family members and friends.
They did not tell CT that shouting and screaming near Mary was abusive. They did not tell CT that saying a beloved daughter that Gloria could not visit Mary was abusive. They did not stop CT from grabbing Mary’s hand and pulling her from Gloria until she cried out in pain was abusive.
They did not tell the officers that CT abused Mary.
How awful.
Who stands by when this happens?
As in the Wyman case, ban the good family members, the ones that care, the ones that squawk when there is abuse. As in Wyman, the family member is then further isolated and abused. In Wyman, the mother was left near death when she finally escaped, a victim of severe physical abuse and beatings and sexual abuse at the nursing home. (See findings of abuse by Illinois Dept of Health published elsewhere on this website).
Let the tough, cold control freak family member gain control, grab, push and shove the disabled until she is in pain physically and emotionally and say nothing. Do nothing.
It’s easier. But, can you really sleep at night?
Corrections from Gloria:
It's sunrise senior living LLC
Carolyn never agreed to stop the bulking (grabbing?) and I [in fact] fact pushed Scott back and grabbed [Carolyn away when] mother cried that Toerpe was hurting her.
At all times mother was calm until Toerpe grabbed her by the wrist and hauled her off into another room and that's when mother cried out "don't take me away from my gloria again".
Then, like in a breath, mother so afraid of Toerpe, told Toerpe again she wanted to be with Gloria.
The staff of the assisted living stood by and watched as Toerpe abused my mother and did nothing.
The cops spoke with Adam Stern (the court appointed Guardian ad Litem that comes from a "secret list") after you and scott and Doris left and falsely held me in custody trying to bully me into telling [the police] how or who told me where my mother was. (Duh, the house was sold, no one had seen Mary at Carolyn's house in weeks--takes an idiot in these case to figure out SHE'S STUFFED IN A NURSING HOME SOMEPLACE, JUST CALL A FEW). Are cops really that brain dead? Did not Sergent Kammerer, ahem, Commander Kammerer tell everyone about this crazy case?
I just said that the cook county states attorneys office told me that if my mother wants to see me no person on earth could stop the visit: the Illinois department on Aging told me the same
This a a brutal scene of harassment and abuse against my mother who is alive today because she prays that one day soon I will come to her rescue and set her free
and the law.
The police officer did NOT like when we mentioned the law. He liked the comfort of “rules” from the nursing home.
AND, since the Naperville police apparently do NOT like following the law, here it is:
§ 2-108. Every resident shall be permitted unimpeded, private and uncensored communication of his choice by mail, public telephone or visitation.
(a) The administrator shall ensure that correspondence is conveniently received and mailed, and that telephones are reasonably accessible.
(b) The administrator shall ensure that residents may have private visits at any reasonable hour unless such visits are not medically advisable for the resident as documented in the resident's clinical record by the resident's physician.
(c) The administrator shall ensure that space for visits is available and that facility personnel knock, except in an emergency, before entering any resident's room.
(d) Unimpeded, private and uncensored communication by mail, public telephone and visitation may be reasonably restricted by a physician only in order to protect the resident or others from harm, harassment or intimidation, provided that the reason for any such restriction is placed in the resident's clinical record by the physician and that notice of such restriction shall be given to all residents upon admission. However, all letters addressed by a resident to the Governor, members of the General Assembly, Attorney General, judges, state's attorneys, officers of the Department, or licensed attorneys at law shall be forwarded at once to the persons to whom they are addressed without examination by facility personnel. Letters in reply from the officials and attorneys mentioned above shall be delivered to the recipient without examination by facility personnel.
(e) The administrator shall ensure that married residents residing in the same facility be allowed to reside in the same room within the facility unless there is no room available in the facility or it is deemed medically inadvisable by the residents' attending physician and so documented in the residents' medical records.
210 Ill. Comp. Stat. Ann. 45/2-108 (West)
Ken Ditkowsky
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